Part 8 of Nine Lessons from a Wyverary Governouresse by Cat Valente

That's right; Part 8. Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 9 of the short story Nine Lessons from a Wyverary Governesse are strewn about the internet in a literary treasure hunt. Each part is exclusive to those who host it, and the author has made the super cool decision to only post parts of her story on websites for independent bookstores and public libraries! You can read the introduction to this here, and check out your chance to meet the author, Cat Valente at our Mountain View store here!

8. On Science in Fairyland

How do you feel about Science, children?

I hope you are on good terms with it, that you have it over to tea at least every other week. Science is an excellent conversationalist, and much prized in Fairyland. In Pandemonium, the capital of all our merry land, Scientists have a tower all to themselves, called Groangyre. There they can have tea as much as they like while inventing and studying marvelous things like Moving Pictures, Electricks, the Carriageless Horse, Blueology, Lunar Travel, the Hyper Toadstool Transfer Protocol (by which you can leave quite long messages with the mushrooms and they will carry them anywhere you please via underground fungal network), and the Three Q’s: Quiet Physicks, Questing Physicks, Queer Physicks (these being the study of the Unseen and Unheard, the Mechanicks of Narrative and People Who Can’t Leave Well Enough Alone, and Things What Make No Good Sense).

I think you’ll agree all of that sounds quite good. 

The Prioress of Groangyre Tower is Belinda Cabbage, Empress of the White Coats, Quarterback of the Municipal Quantumball Team and Champion Crossword Solver. She causes most of the explosions you’ll see blossoming out of the tower on the hour, nice and regular. I mention her because she has been very occasionally known to take on apprentices. Sometimes these apprentices do very well, like Dr. Erasmus Jane Fallow, one of our premier alchemists. Sometimes they merely break local QB records and in the process cause two bakeries and a letterpress shoppe to vanish, as in the case of the famous and unfortunate Simon Snowpea, who can’t get a loaf of bread to save his life these days.

The line for the apprenticeship forms a charming spring ritual, stretching form Pandemonium all the way to her sister city, Sticks. So if you feel you know your sums and long division, know how to work a lilyscope, and are proof against fire, acid, boiling, and spells of disintegration, I suggest you line up early.